The idea of an unfaithful partner in a relationship is sad, but there is something about a hidden unfaithfulness that makes it a little less sad. Honesty adds an entirely new layer of sorrow, because the faithful partner is then aware of the cheating, and remains in the relationship out of love and commitment. And then, of course, putting a scenario like this to music heightens the tragedy to another level. Here are two songs that I think do this very powerfully.
The first is Mary Macgreor's "Torn Between Two Lovers" released and recorded in 1976. This is the song of a woman confessing to her partner (possibly husband) that "there's been another man that I've needed and I've loved." She describes an empty space that only her illicit paramour can fill, but does not want to let go of her partner. She loves them both, but in different ways. She is apologetic, and understands if this man can't stay with her, but her voice searches for understanding. "All the things I ever said, I swear they still are true." Just because she has taken an additional lover does not mean she does not still love the man she is with.
Thirty years later, and we see another Unfaithful song (literally) hit the charts. Rihanna's strong vocals contrast with Mary's soft, sweet voice, making this song powerfully emotional. "He's more than a man, and this is more than love; the reason that the sky is blue," she sings, but despite this, she is taking another lover. She realizes that it's a mistake, and she realizes that her partner knows about it, and that "it kills him inside." Just as in Mary's song, she loves them both, but in different ways and for different reasons.
These songs are impacting for both musical and lyrical reasons, but also because they are sung by females. I could easily list ten songs from different genres that involve a man being unfaithful to his female partner, but songs with the roles reversed are much more difficult to find. These songs are beautiful in their sorrow because they don't address the physical aspects of the relationships, but the emotional aspects. The torn, broken voices of these two women restore my belief in the idea of a "soul mate," however idealistic that may be. Why would they be feeling this remorseful if they were created to be with more than one person?
The first is Mary Macgreor's "Torn Between Two Lovers" released and recorded in 1976. This is the song of a woman confessing to her partner (possibly husband) that "there's been another man that I've needed and I've loved." She describes an empty space that only her illicit paramour can fill, but does not want to let go of her partner. She loves them both, but in different ways. She is apologetic, and understands if this man can't stay with her, but her voice searches for understanding. "All the things I ever said, I swear they still are true." Just because she has taken an additional lover does not mean she does not still love the man she is with.
Thirty years later, and we see another Unfaithful song (literally) hit the charts. Rihanna's strong vocals contrast with Mary's soft, sweet voice, making this song powerfully emotional. "He's more than a man, and this is more than love; the reason that the sky is blue," she sings, but despite this, she is taking another lover. She realizes that it's a mistake, and she realizes that her partner knows about it, and that "it kills him inside." Just as in Mary's song, she loves them both, but in different ways and for different reasons.
These songs are impacting for both musical and lyrical reasons, but also because they are sung by females. I could easily list ten songs from different genres that involve a man being unfaithful to his female partner, but songs with the roles reversed are much more difficult to find. These songs are beautiful in their sorrow because they don't address the physical aspects of the relationships, but the emotional aspects. The torn, broken voices of these two women restore my belief in the idea of a "soul mate," however idealistic that may be. Why would they be feeling this remorseful if they were created to be with more than one person?
Both songs are beautiful... I guess falling in love with two people is sorrowful, because to love one means to hurt another, like what Rihanna sings, "I don't want to hurt him anymore. I don't want to take away his life. I don't want to be...a murderer."
ReplyDeleteI think it is very interesting what you pointed out about the difference between these two songs and the reverse for the ones that a male sings. I agree that these songs from the female perspective are more genuine and connect more to the soul rather than physical features.
ReplyDeleteIt is really interesting how you compare the two different songs and I definitely think that these songs would be taken in a much different way if sung by a male. I never had heard the first song and they are both are so depressingly similar.
ReplyDeleteAh, gender, love, music, and romance, how you've stabbed so many in the heart and gotten away with it I will never know.
ReplyDeleteGreat comparison, and this is something I have really never thought about before. The way gender and societal norms are changing is also evident in your comparison!
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